~Finding The Right Words~

Ughh....really, is it morning already? I didn't sleep, I didn't sleep at all my body tells me. My thoughts were with my Kahlua girl. Was she in pain? Did she wonder why I didn't do more for her....yep, not a good night. So as I start my day and feel my feet hit the floor I take a deep breath to face my kids puffy crying faces. I can do this my mind tells me, you are their Mom, you are the one to make them know all will be okay. So I did just that I put my Mom game face on and go wake them up. I know they are like me they would like to stay in bed and shut the world out today, unfortunately that isn't an option.

Good Morning kiddos! So sorry for yesterday, it was a bad day. I don't know how many more times they are comforted by hearing me say it was a bad day, probably no comfort at all. I suck at being a good Mom some days and finding the right words. I need a do over button way more days then I would ever care to admit. My mind says stop pretending your strong when Lord knows you are not. Stop pretending the sight of her pink blanket didn't already bring you to tears. Tell them what really wants to come out of your mouth which is let's go back to bed, not pretend all is well in the world today, let's not put on fake smiles, let's not hide the Kleenex box when people come around, let's dim the lights and just be what we are...........sad!

 

Then comes reality, I can't miss work today and they really shouldn't miss school so we will all go about our day doing exactly what my mind says I shouldn't......faking smiles.